All that is hidden will be revealed

"There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. There is nothing kept secret that will not come to light." - Mk 4:22

The story is that abuelo started courting abuela when she was a budding 14 year old and he was 24. They kept it hidden from her father, Abelardo (abuelo's uncle) because he would have objected strongly to an early marriage. As abuela told it, they had chastely waited for her to turn 17 and then, with great-grandfather Abelardo's blessing, she had married her 27 year old sweetheart. Two years later their first son, tio Orlando had been born.

There it was in the marriage certificate I held in my hand today as I chatted with tia Esperanza about them: married November 20, 1922. I also had abuela's birth certificate - born January 8, 1902 - and abuelo's - born November 26, 1891. But, wait! She was 20 years old not 17 and he was just 6 days shy of turning 31. What the ...? Senility? Not possible. Abuela had told me this same story several times while in her 60's and her mind was sharp as a tack. "Oh, well - I thought - there is a mystery here lost in time."

But then, a niggling thought prompted me to ask: "When was tio Orlando born?". Tia Esperanza, his wife of 52 years, rattled off the date immediately: "March 31, 1921". I laughed with glee - "We've got them!". A lie had been dispelled and the secret revealed.

Abuelo and abuela had waited for her to turn 17 before consummating their passion. Hence, abuela spoke of "marrying" at 17. Records suggest that both lived in La Carolina, a tiny village east of Remedios, and in that small village world, "arrimarse" (slang for cohabiting) is common. Why did they wait for baby Orlando to be almost 2 before marrying? I suppose it did not matter to the people around them, including her father, and the months passed as they continued working and living until an opportune moment presented itself to go to Remedios' City Hall to get married.

Abuela had given me a glossy picture but the raw, real stuff of which life is made was revealed and with it a vital piece in a puzzle which has made many other pieces fall into place. A clearer picture emerged of the world abuela and abuelo lived in, the world that shaped them and through them, their descendents. It is a picture of the illiterate or poorly educated campesino who lives always precariously, dreading drought and flood, pestilence and famine. A world where death is always visible as is sex and where there is little privacy and girls are disposable. The picture revealed is also of them being endearingly human and fallible.

Humorously, I also find that I have this in common with abuela: I lived with my husband for 2 years before we married and I, too, count our marriage as starting when we moved together, not when the papers were signed. "De tal palo tal astilla!".